We've all been there before, so here are some simple tips to help you prepare for your first hash. You should be in decent shape - if you can't WALK at least five miles you need to get in shape before trying a hash. These can be pretty exhausting to the unprepared! Always bring a gym bag with a change of clothes - warm DRY shoes and DRY socks are worth their weight in gold after a couple of November water crossings. Sweats, gloves, sandals etc. - these are all gonna be your buddy and/or pal, dependent upon the weather. Not to worry, we always have a bag car that will bring your gear to the ending spot. Expect an outdoor ending - although we sometimes head inside a warm bar - only silly folk expect things to go their way.
Oh, in the summer, bring rubbing alcohol to get rid of poison ivy. Also bring a small towel to apply it without making a mess. In the winter, sweats and/or tights will be your pal. But don't wear new running shoes. Trust us. If you don't believe us, just read the next paragraph...
DO NOT HASH IN NEW RUNNING SHOES - if you do, you'll be chugging a beer out of them.
Speaking of which, after your 1st and, if you come back, your 5th hash(es), you can expect to be presented with your new hash name. Here you'll be introduced to the pack, we'll sing a raunchy song to ya, and then you'll be expected to chug a beer. You can take as long as you like, but if that cup parts from your lips before you finish your beer, it gets dumped over your head. Ya got that? OVER YOUR HEAD. That means you go home smelling like a brewery.
Don't wear road r*cing tee shirts and expect us to be impressed - you're just asking for a down-down.
Expect profanity - lots of it. We all have to be nice and polite at work - this is when we make fun of one another and fart in each other's general direction. If this sort of behavior disgusts or offends you, tough titty - we ain't changin'.
Expect to get muddy, cut by briars and understand that you can get hurt doing this. Bones will get broken, ankles will get sprained, fingers get dislocated all of the time and egos can get bruised. If you get hurt, it is your own damn fault, but we'll do everything we can to help each other out.
A typical hash trail has us shuffling off at 2PM, hashing a 4-6 mile trail for between 75 to 120 minutes. Then we socialize over beer and munchies as the stragglers come in. About an hour later the down-downs begin, and can take up to an hour to complete. Then it is back to the cars and on to an optional post hash meal called an "On-On". If you do all of this, you could be home after 8PM. Skip the On-On, and you could be home as early as 6PM.